The media does a tremendous job covering the tragic and - fortunately - rare events of angry and even deadly outbursts of parents at sporting events. Of course, these violent occurrences can't be ignored, nor should any other poor parental behavior. At the same time, these events should not place a cloud of doom over all the other wonderful parents that are a part of youth sports. Nearly all parents are fantastic, and I could not have successfully coached a single season without them.
What would I, as a coach, do without the parents? I certainly would not have been considered for the NYSCA National Volunteer Coach of the Year award without help from a lot of very special parents. The parents of the children I coach play a huge part in the success of every team that I have ever been involved with. Parents are often just waiting to be asked to help. I let the parents know at my first team meeting that I welcome any help they may be willing to offer. By encouraging parental involvement, I have found that communication increases, which may help decrease potential angry outbursts from them throughout the course of the season.
It is important to point out that not all parental help is good. Sometimes there are overzealous parents who want to take the practice over and run it their way. And sometimes you'll find that they are not teaching skills properly.
Six tips for utilizing Mom and Dad
- Get to know them - At the beginning of each season I make a concerted effort to get to know each parent. How many times have you seen a coach who cannot remember a child's name, let alone his or her parents? The best coaches are ones that make everybody feel like part of the team.
- Tell them what you want - There's a simple way to keep control of your team: clearly define what you expect from the parents on your team and mentor them frequently. Remember, you're the coach.
- Find them a task - There are so many things a parent can do to help. You can have them help set up practice, gather equipment or help run drills. In some cases, and depending on the parent, you can have them work individually with kids who need extra help and attention. I've even had mom and dad play goalie and help referee a scrimmage or practice.
- The team parent - Where would your team be without a team mom or dad? Team parents are your best friends. They can create and implement a call-out roster, set up the snack schedule, plan team parties, bring water and serve as your primary point of contact. If you're lucky, a good team parent can be as important as your assistant coach.
- Kids vs. parents - Ah, family rivalries. Each season, I like to organize a game between the kids and parents about midway through the season and during the last practice. These games help bring the parents, kids and coaches together. (Your biggest challenge may be getting mom and dad to lose.)
- Awards and thanks - I always go out of my way to show the parents of the children I coach how much I appreciate them. I'm constantly thanking them for their help. And during the end-of-season party, I give my team parents thank-you gifts. Sincere appreciation goes a long way in the minds of volunteers. We all can relate.
MaryBeth Bash was named the 2001 National Volunteer Coach of the Year by the National Youth Sports Coaches Association. She is a youth sports coach at Andrews Air Force Base.
This article was reprinted with permission by the National Alliance For Youth Sports. More information can be obtained through their educational on-line program, which is available at http://www.nays.org/.
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